


BJ

by truelyesoteric



Series: Not Quite Slash [4]
Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: Crack, M/M, not quite slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:40:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1310161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truelyesoteric/pseuds/truelyesoteric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chad makes a list. Jared and Jensen Check it twice. Then wish they didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	BJ

**Author's Note:**

> LJ repost circa 2009

There aren’t many things that one does not know about Chad Michael Murray. Chad has a mouth that opens and his entire life story pops out, horrific and embarrassing mixed happily with mundane and stupid.

Jared considers himself an open book and sometimes he wishes that Chad would learn some discression

The very hidden thing about Chad is that he had a memory that could make most computers feel envious. His mind is a steel trap.

Which he said when he first met Jensen.

“My mind is a steel trap, bitch,” Chad informed Jensen.

It might have been the addition of bitch or the mass amounts of weed that they were smoking, but Jensen highly doubted it.

It was later, much later, years later when Jensen actually realized that Chad wasn’t lying about this fact.

“I never lie,” he informed Jensen.

“He just has a very perverse sense of the truth,” Jared agreed.

Even later than that, after consumption of tequila Jensen dared Chad to prove it.

“Jay-man,” Chad said, still giving Jensen the stare down. “How many people have you fucked, blow jobs and hand jobs excluded.”

Jensen was suddenly confused for two reasons. One this was a non-sequitor. Two Jared might be an old friend and Jensen knew of some of the past, but Jared was very minty new Jensen’s boyfriend and this question seemed a little inappropriate.

Then again Chad was always inappropriate.

“Thirty-eight before Jensen,” Jared answered immediately.

Jensen turned to glare at him.

“Shut up, you’re the slut, I bet you are in the triple digits,” Jared pouted.

Jensen hated them both.

Chad raised a hand, presumably to quiet them to whatever decree he was about to issue.

“I will compile a list of Jared’s Before Jensen conquests,” Chad said. “Then you will have to admit that my mind is a steel trap.”

“Why Jared’s?” Jensen sulked. “Why not yours?”

Chad took a shot and then grinned at Jensen. “I could do that. I forget, what is your sister’s name again?”

For the honor of the Ackles family name Jensen had to kick Chad’s ass.

**

So less than eight days later, fresh, and notarized was a list. A very complete list titled: BJ.

This was meant to symbolize Before Jensen in Jared’s life and Jensen knew that Chad was meaning to both be sweet, with the whole concept that Jared was entering a new phase in his life, and juvenile, in the sense that BJ also stood for Blow Job.

That was Chad and it scared Jensen that he kind of understood the mindset of Chad.

Jensen looked at the list. It had thirty-eight names, approximate dates, and strangely enough addresses.

“What does he want us to do,” Jensen grumbled, not liking some of the names on the list. “Send them Christmas cards?”

“I forgot about her,” Jared squealed looking at the list.

Jensen glared at him.

Jared wisely stayed quiet.

“I refuse to speak to any of these people ever again,” Jensen grumbled and one name caught his eye. “You slept with HEATHER! Our hair guru. Fuck you Jared Padalecki, now I never can keep that promise unless Dean is suddenly going to go through some hair crisis.”

Jared laughed, “Never doubt Chad.”

Jensen’s mouth got really really thin.

Jared’s eyes got really really wide.

**

“Mac have you ever slept with Chad?” Jensen asked after his sister had picked up.

“Hello to you big brother,” Mackenzie said airily, “I’m having a great time here at school, 3.8 GPA since you ask.”

“Mac, please,” Jensen begged.

There was silence.

Jensen dropped the phone. He couldn’t deal with that implication.

**

Jared was a good boyfriend. He fed Jensen chocolate cake and Irish coffee.

“Look on the bright side,” Jared tried after a day of mopey, hyper caffeinated, sugar rushed Jensen.

Jensen shot him the look of death.

Jared smiled sheepishly. “He isn’t on my list.”

And just like that Jared, the love of his life, his dear sweet boyfriend made the world make sense again.


End file.
